Running Low
A month in and it has surely been a roller coaster. Having your things taken from you is exhausting and I am running out of positive corners to warm up and breathe. My camera is gone and at this time is irreplaceable. Apparently CVS will let someone else spend $700 of YOUR money and all anyone can do about it is shrug their shoulders and push buttons for 3 weeks.
I am running low on smiles to fake.
I am running out of “I’m fine”(S)
I am running out of witty and pithy distractions.
I am running out of friends… I am running out of people to break down in front of for fear that they will have no other power but to frown at me.
It’s all gone and it’s only week 4 of the new year. I have been on this sinking slope that makes my eyes cross. I tend to want what I need. i.e. a job; space of my own; sense of accomplishment and recognition of adulthood; support; internal and external love.
I am running low on the delusion that allows me to feel like I deserve any of it.
I am breaking down.
ah daria, what you got called in high school when your sarcasm is hurtful yet admired.
(via -siriuslyblack)
seriously considering putting out a “shit people say to lonely people” video
For myself, identifying as femme is not about adhering to any code or strictures of conduct. It is about loving my body, even when I am told I am too skinny or not in shape. It is about respecting and revering the women in my life without objectifying or essentializing them, but also without pretending that we are the same. It is about loving who I love, desiring who I desire, and not worrying about what types of roles I or my partners should take on in a relationship, or in bed. It is about dressing the way I like, and moving the way my body wants to move. It is about talking in the slang of Black and Latin@ queer communities. It is about being unapologetically raunchy. It is about making people uncomfortable in ways that I hope will make the world a safer place. It is about speaking loudly. It is about placing myself in a linage of other queer folks of all identities who also stood by their communities while challenging them to change. It is about remembering the riot, and never being comfortable with the way things are. It is about dancing and laughing, gathering and organizing. It is about feminism. It is about fearlessness. It is about always being ready to fight.
ALL OF THIS
Down but not out…
John Green: GAY is NOT an INSULT (x)
(Source: weasleycansaveanything, via -siriuslyblack)
